Loving, Listening, Learning, Discerning: A Couple Enrichment Retreat

As a couple in a committed relationship, you and your partner face many decisions on a daily basis. They can range from the everyday (who’s picking up the kids from school?) to big life questions (what sort of community do we want to build around us?); from questions with quantifiable answers (how much money shall we spend on a car?) to philosophical questions (what does hospitality look like for us?). Each decision has its own context: Is this urgent? Who will it affect most? What information do I have or need? To top it off, we bring with us into our relationships how we witnessed decision-making in our families of origin. So making decisions can get complicated!

We invite you to a weekend to explore with other couples our patterns of decision-making in a spirit of experiment and curiosity. We will explore how decision-making can affirm our strengths, how conflict is an opportunity to deepen intimacy, and how we can uphold integrity, equality, and peace-making when we consider the questions before us. Bring with you at least one question that you and your beloved are currently sitting with – be it profound or mundane – so that we can learn together and, God willing, experience where Spirit takes us.

Friends Couple Enrichment (FCE), founded by Quakers over 50 years ago, is a proactive ministry to release the full potential of relationships both for the benefit of the couple and also for a world begging for examples of honest, loving, joy-filled relationships. This ministry is open to all couples, regardless of length of time together, marital status, gender identity, age, race, or faith. Indeed, our retreats are enhanced by our diversity. At the heart of any FCE event is an introduction to Witnessed Couple Dialogue, a spiritual practice of deep listening. This retreat will include lots of time for couples to dialogue in the loving witness of others as well as in private. Be assured that you will not be asked to share or participate in activities beyond your level of comfort.

Still unsure whether this is for you? Then visit FCE’s website, watch its QuakerSpeak video, and even better, come to a 90-minute online Taster scheduled for Sunday, February 26, 2023, at 8pm Eastern Time (US & Canada). At the Taster, you will meet the facilitating leader couples, hear more about FCE and this retreat, and have time to ask questions. Register for the Taster here.

Please note: Masking will be optional in our retreat space provided each couple has a negative COVID-19 test within 24 hours of arrival. If a test is positive or if you exhibit symptoms consistent with COVID-19, then you should stay home. Outside of our retreat space we will follow Pendle Hill’s masking policy being practiced at the time of the retreat.

Leader(s)

Long-time Friends Mike and Marsha Green have been leading retreats for families and couples since the early 1990s. They currently reside in a generational bubble – children launched, no grandchildren, parents released to whatever lies beyond. For many years, Mike served as a core teacher with the School of the Spirit Ministry and Marsha served on the boards of Friends Journal and Carolina Friends School. They retired from salaried jobs in 2017 and spent a year as Resident Friends in Auckland, New Zealand. There, they traveled extensively in the ministry while also enjoying birding, hiking, music-making, and playing games. Married for 40 years, they are members of Durham (NC) Friends Meeting.

Kirsten Brink and Andrew Dembski both work professionally as engineers: Andrew in renewable energy and Kirsten in medical devices and pharmaceuticals. They met in 2015. Their relationship was at a distance for four years, so after participating in their first Friends Couple Enrichment Workshop they quickly adopted the practice of regularly dialoging. As problem-solving is what they do as a profession, learning to listen, sit with feelings, and allowing space for each other to be heard have been key teachings FCE has brought to their relationship. Andrew and Kirsten live in north Texas with their fur-baby, Shania, and enjoy hiking, playing board games, renovating their home, travel, and good food. Kirsten is a member of Live Oak Meeting in Houston, TX.

Financial aid may be available. If you are seeking funds to participate in this program, click to review and complete our Financial Assistance Application and a Pendle Hill staff member will follow-up with you shortly (please do NOT register online). Thank you for your interest.

Travel directions to Pendle Hill. Please make sure to review our health and safety expectations at https://pendlehill.org/stay/covid-19-information/.